NEIGHBOR PLEASE DON'T HELP ME.

All our lives we have been familiar with the 'h' word. Help. We've heard it many times from people and have even uttered it ourselves. If you say you haven't, then I think you must be another Almighty God (and me I know there is only one Almighty God).  
   
 Everybody needs help.

The word 'help' conjures up images of Love. Freedom. Goodwill. Service. Friendship. And so naturally, we welcome help.

But stop for a minute. Sometimes that 'h' word has a negative ring to it for me, so I reject it. Strange? Let's see.

Times like when Harry 'helps' me with 500 Naira and then expects me to lie on my back at his say-so and expects to dictate what I do and where I go and who I talk to.

Like when my father's cousin's sister's mom bought me biscuit when I was eight years old and because of that expects me to seat for JAMB for her son.
And then my favorite scenario.

It's cooking time. Mommy asks you to carry that small 'baf' containing water to her. Somehow, maybe because hunger don do you 'nwen' or you just feel a bit lazy,, you struggle with the basin. Similarly, your friend who came visiting pipes, 'let me help you' or just stands up, gets to the basin and carries it without drama to your mother, who compliments her, 'Good, hardworking girl. Not like your lazy friend over there'. Simbi smiles shyly and goes back to her seat.
You, burning with shame,look at Simi and your jealous eyes detect behind her shy, modest smile, a look of pleasure, of achievement.
What might she have achieved? The answer stares you in the face immediately. The help she rendered was supposed to show how much stronger she is than you, and she succeeded.

You know, that help that is really not about the recipient but about the giver. That help that is intended to show the world how superior the giver is. You may have been the giver of such help at one time sef.

That help that the helper will never let the recipient forget.

The kind of help that makes you forget about buying that book or gown or shoe because money no dey, even though Amina your friend would have readily 'dashed' you the money if you had asked.

The kind that makes you wash all those plates, do all those annoying chores alone, even though your hand feels like its about to fall off, never mind that your buddies, potential 'helpers' full house.

As in, the kind that just makes you say to yourself, even though your whole being is screaming for help, 'abeg, biko, mbok, oleh, ejoor, please, no help me ooooo.