ADAM, WHERE ARE YOU?
If you are a Christian, you most probably are acquainted with the story of how Adam and Eve disobeyed and thus brought about Man's fall. For the sake of clarity, or just to refresh your memory, please see Genesis 3.
I imagine that if there was a Nigerian version of the story, especially of the part where God comes down and questions Adam and Eve, the conversation would have gone on this way:
Nigerian God: Eve, why did you eat the fruit? Why did you make your husband fall, ehn? Why did you deceive him?
Eve(face downcast) :it's the snake that deceived me.
Nigerian God: Listen to yourself! You see what YOU have caused? I will not ask your husband any questions because I know he is innocent. You are the one who made him fall. Don't you know that it's a woman that builds her home? How could YOU do this? This is your punishment.....
As for you, Adam, you are not at fault,hence,no punishment for you. Just go and look for a good woman who will not deceive you.
End of story.
If you are acquainted with the Bible's account, you will discover something there.
One of those things is that when God came down to talk with them, the first thing he did was call out to ADAM, 'WHERE ARE YOU?' before even addressing Eve.
The second thing was that he questioned and punished BOTH of them for their sin. Not one of them was spared.
In our churches today, during marriage seminars, weddings and at other times, Proverbs 14:1 is quoted often. It says, 'the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down'. This verse has become one of the most abused, misinterpreted verse in the Bible. I say this because our Pastors have often interpreted the verse to mean that the success of a marriage is largely or solely dependent on the wife. If the children are wayward, she's at fault. If Oga is unfaithful, beats her, it's her fault. She must stay and build her home, even if Oga clearly prefers the house in shambles. And it's sad because this verse is too clear to be bastardized like this. So, let's get it straight.
The book of Proverbs is full of comparisons between a wise man and a foolish man, a good man and a bad man, etc. For instance, Proverbs13:1 says, 'a wise son heareth his father's rebuke but a scorner heareth not rebuke'. This is clearly showing a difference between a wise son who listens to his father and a foolish one who doesn't. Do we now say that the verse is saying that only sons are obligated to listen to their parents, and daughters can dispense with parental advice?
Another example. Proverbs 12:13 says, 'an evil man is trapped by his sinful talk, but a righteous man escapes trouble'. This is clearly a difference between a good man and an evil man with regards to speech. Do we now interpret this verse to mean that it's only a man should avoid evil speaking? Do we now say that women cannot be trapped by sinful talk?
Now back to our 'wise woman' scripture. It's obvious that the text is simply a comparison of a wise woman and a foolish woman with regards to the home. The text doesn't mean that it is largely or the sole responsibility of the woman to build the home. The text could also read thus,' a wise man builds his home but a foolish man tears it down with his own hands'.
I am aware that this is a bitter pill for some of us to swallow, but it's the truth, no matter how you feel about it.
For any organization to succeed, all members' hands must be on deck to ensure its success. However, it's a known fact that the head of such organization bares a particularly HEAVY responsibility of ensuring all is well. If trouble befalls the organization, he will be the scape goat. So why should it be any different now that it comes to marriage?
For too long we have burdened the woman with the impossible, cruel responsibility of being largely or SOLELY responsible for a marriage's success or failure while the husband, who we readily agree is the home's head, is miraculously free of responsibility for his own home. Weird! Sometimes it is even said that women specially have God's ears, her shoulder are equipped to bear more than the man,bla,bla, bla. But honestly, to me, these are just sweet lies women are told just so they can be comfortable with an unfair burden:so they will feel even honored to bear more than fair share.
This is part of a culture that expects so little from the male gender, in terms of morals and other things, except of course finances. This is NOT God's intention at all.
Dear Man, there is a reason you are head of that home for goodness sake! It's not an arm-chair position.
When God wanted to tell Abraham about what he was going to do to Sodom and Gomorrah, he said to himself, 'For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment....' (Genesis 18:19). God didn't say anything about Abraham's wife, even though she would play a role, for clearly, Abraham as head of the home had a MAJOR role to play. It's just as well because power comes with responsibility.
When Rebecca was experiencing barrenness, Isaac brought it to God in prayer, just like his father did for his mother. He did not act like it was her own business. That is a true head!
It's sad to see a lot of men, and women too, argue that a man is a robot, an animal:a helpless thing with no power to determine his actions,just to avoid owning responsibility for his own actions, and family. It's baffling how everyone, including the church, is battling for the 'right' of a man to be irresponsible. It's a wa o!
Its sad to see men who refuse to take part in the training of their children because they think it's a 'mother's thing'. All they think they should be doing is bring money for school fees and food.
It's sad. It just proves that we are true sons of Adam indeed. When questioned as to why he disobeyed, his answer, very typical of what his kids echo today, was 'the woman YOU gave me made me eat the fruit'.
Dear husbands, where are you? Stop hiding behind your wife, your job, your hormones, or wherever it is you are hiding and COME OUT! Take responsibility for your marriages, and your children. It takes you and your wife to make your marriage work. It's not just her. And yeah, your role is MAJOR! You are not the head of your family without a reason.
Dear single men, man up now! Know that that marriage or relationship needs YOU to make it work! Own your actions! Own your mistakes! There is power in owning up because when you realize your role in contributing to a problem, you can always work to ensure its not repeated.
Dear women, kindly stop enabling irresponsibility in your men. Stop blaming others for his actions. Please stop! And you can help raise sons who will be responsible. You can.
Finally, dear church, kindly stop twisting scripture and enabling irresponsibility on our men's part and heaping too much on our women. Marriage was not and will never be a 'woman thing'. It's 'their thing'. Please stop. You can.
I imagine that if there was a Nigerian version of the story, especially of the part where God comes down and questions Adam and Eve, the conversation would have gone on this way:
Nigerian God: Eve, why did you eat the fruit? Why did you make your husband fall, ehn? Why did you deceive him?
Eve(face downcast) :it's the snake that deceived me.
Nigerian God: Listen to yourself! You see what YOU have caused? I will not ask your husband any questions because I know he is innocent. You are the one who made him fall. Don't you know that it's a woman that builds her home? How could YOU do this? This is your punishment.....
As for you, Adam, you are not at fault,hence,no punishment for you. Just go and look for a good woman who will not deceive you.
End of story.
If you are acquainted with the Bible's account, you will discover something there.
One of those things is that when God came down to talk with them, the first thing he did was call out to ADAM, 'WHERE ARE YOU?' before even addressing Eve.
The second thing was that he questioned and punished BOTH of them for their sin. Not one of them was spared.
In our churches today, during marriage seminars, weddings and at other times, Proverbs 14:1 is quoted often. It says, 'the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down'. This verse has become one of the most abused, misinterpreted verse in the Bible. I say this because our Pastors have often interpreted the verse to mean that the success of a marriage is largely or solely dependent on the wife. If the children are wayward, she's at fault. If Oga is unfaithful, beats her, it's her fault. She must stay and build her home, even if Oga clearly prefers the house in shambles. And it's sad because this verse is too clear to be bastardized like this. So, let's get it straight.
The book of Proverbs is full of comparisons between a wise man and a foolish man, a good man and a bad man, etc. For instance, Proverbs13:1 says, 'a wise son heareth his father's rebuke but a scorner heareth not rebuke'. This is clearly showing a difference between a wise son who listens to his father and a foolish one who doesn't. Do we now say that the verse is saying that only sons are obligated to listen to their parents, and daughters can dispense with parental advice?
Another example. Proverbs 12:13 says, 'an evil man is trapped by his sinful talk, but a righteous man escapes trouble'. This is clearly a difference between a good man and an evil man with regards to speech. Do we now interpret this verse to mean that it's only a man should avoid evil speaking? Do we now say that women cannot be trapped by sinful talk?
Now back to our 'wise woman' scripture. It's obvious that the text is simply a comparison of a wise woman and a foolish woman with regards to the home. The text doesn't mean that it is largely or the sole responsibility of the woman to build the home. The text could also read thus,' a wise man builds his home but a foolish man tears it down with his own hands'.
I am aware that this is a bitter pill for some of us to swallow, but it's the truth, no matter how you feel about it.
For any organization to succeed, all members' hands must be on deck to ensure its success. However, it's a known fact that the head of such organization bares a particularly HEAVY responsibility of ensuring all is well. If trouble befalls the organization, he will be the scape goat. So why should it be any different now that it comes to marriage?
For too long we have burdened the woman with the impossible, cruel responsibility of being largely or SOLELY responsible for a marriage's success or failure while the husband, who we readily agree is the home's head, is miraculously free of responsibility for his own home. Weird! Sometimes it is even said that women specially have God's ears, her shoulder are equipped to bear more than the man,bla,bla, bla. But honestly, to me, these are just sweet lies women are told just so they can be comfortable with an unfair burden:so they will feel even honored to bear more than fair share.
This is part of a culture that expects so little from the male gender, in terms of morals and other things, except of course finances. This is NOT God's intention at all.
Dear Man, there is a reason you are head of that home for goodness sake! It's not an arm-chair position.
When God wanted to tell Abraham about what he was going to do to Sodom and Gomorrah, he said to himself, 'For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment....' (Genesis 18:19). God didn't say anything about Abraham's wife, even though she would play a role, for clearly, Abraham as head of the home had a MAJOR role to play. It's just as well because power comes with responsibility.
When Rebecca was experiencing barrenness, Isaac brought it to God in prayer, just like his father did for his mother. He did not act like it was her own business. That is a true head!
It's sad to see a lot of men, and women too, argue that a man is a robot, an animal:a helpless thing with no power to determine his actions,just to avoid owning responsibility for his own actions, and family. It's baffling how everyone, including the church, is battling for the 'right' of a man to be irresponsible. It's a wa o!
Its sad to see men who refuse to take part in the training of their children because they think it's a 'mother's thing'. All they think they should be doing is bring money for school fees and food.
It's sad. It just proves that we are true sons of Adam indeed. When questioned as to why he disobeyed, his answer, very typical of what his kids echo today, was 'the woman YOU gave me made me eat the fruit'.
Dear husbands, where are you? Stop hiding behind your wife, your job, your hormones, or wherever it is you are hiding and COME OUT! Take responsibility for your marriages, and your children. It takes you and your wife to make your marriage work. It's not just her. And yeah, your role is MAJOR! You are not the head of your family without a reason.
Dear single men, man up now! Know that that marriage or relationship needs YOU to make it work! Own your actions! Own your mistakes! There is power in owning up because when you realize your role in contributing to a problem, you can always work to ensure its not repeated.
Dear women, kindly stop enabling irresponsibility in your men. Stop blaming others for his actions. Please stop! And you can help raise sons who will be responsible. You can.
Finally, dear church, kindly stop twisting scripture and enabling irresponsibility on our men's part and heaping too much on our women. Marriage was not and will never be a 'woman thing'. It's 'their thing'. Please stop. You can.
Part of the problem springs from the fact that although it's not written in the Bible, we generally tend to believe that Adam was not present when eve ate the fruit. We believe he went to work to look for food for the family but nothing can be farther from the truth because at this time God had not cursed the ground, it would spring forth whatever it is Adam commanded, Adam was not outside looking for food neither was he at work, he was with her when it all happened
ReplyDeleteGen 3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree [was] good for food, and that it [was] pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make [one] wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband WITH her; and he did eat.
Adam ate it out of love for her. The only difference that exists between Adam and eve was the authority given and gender, eve is not a weaker vessel like we say today, she is not a weaker Adam, she is another dimension of Adam for she represents Adam where Adam could not be because she was taken FROM Adam. Hence it is the responsibility of both Adam and eve and that was why each of them got a fare share of the punishment.