MARRIAGE AND HUMAN DIGNITY

Marriage is a very important institution the world over,and in Nigeria in particular. Of course it should be, because it's a God-ordained institution.

As we all know, marriage is a union of a man and a woman (yeah, I don't believe in homosexuality). In some places, it's a union of a man and women. But as the common practice today is monogamy, I intend to dwell on that aspect.

Dignity. The Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary defines dignity as, 'the fact of being given honor and respect by people' and 'a sense of your importance and value'.
So we can see that the word 'dignity' brings to mind respect, value, importance.

Humans crave dignity. It's normal. We all want to feel like we are important, like we are valuable (because we are). Infact, the Nigerian Constitution recognizes and guards the right of a person to be treated with dignity. Since as I said earlier on, that humans crave dignity, they naturally look for ways to satisfy this need to feel like somebody, in different ways.

We live in a society where marriage is so important that it is seen as something that gives dignity to human beings. Infact, the desperate desire to marry or stick to an abusive marriage is not so much a love for the institution itself than a desire to get or hold on to this dignity that society insists marriage gives. Its common knowledge that if a person is not married, especially a female, she isn't treated with as much respect as someone who is married. It's like she is at the lower rung of a career ladder. A lower class of human being. When or if she gets married, she is said to have been 'elevated' from 'Miss' to 'Mrs'. Our families, and even churches champion this view.

My hanky fell down one day in a bus and I wasn't aware. I was already out of the bus when I heard a guy pick up my hanky and say'that that lady over there has left her hanky'. I noticed I wasn't with my hanky and turned and said yes I was the one. Another guy then told me I am not a lady till I marry. He was laughing derisively as he spoke. I ignored him and left.

But really, is marriage something that elevates a person, that gives respect to someone?

I believe in marriage because it is God ordained. But I do not believe it's an 'elevator'. Nothing disgusts me more than hearing people treat marriage like that is what it is. Marriage for me is a relationship. Like friendship. If I meet someone who becomes my friend, I am happy. Because the friendship brings me joy. We laugh together, cry together, do things together,and learn from each other. I feel blessed to have met this person. But my friendship doesn't make me superior to another person who does not have such a friendship in his or her life. It doesn't make me a higher person. It doesn't give me some dignity that I lacked before.

This friendship is like marriage. The fact that a person is married doesn't mean he or she is 'elevated into another class of humanity'. It doesn't mean she is better, superior, than the single man or lady. It just means that they have found someone with whom they want to share their life with, forever. And that is wonderful.

Its also important for me to say again, that a woman doesn't derive her respect, her dignity from her association with a man. It's an insult on our Maker to think that. Humans are valuable, are worthy of respect, because they are HUMAN BEINGS. They are God's creation. People bearing the stamp of the almighty God cannot be classed as unimportant.

If the One Who created me has said that I AM COMPLETE in Him who is the head of all principalities, rulers, kingdoms, powers, (Colossians 2:10), then that is enough for me and should be enough for you, dear man and ESPECIALLY you, dear woman. And this fact, doesn't change, single or not.