DIARY OF A LADY'S MAN

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Dear diary,

It's a brand new day and I feel good. Feeling good is one of the easiest things in the world for me, being what I am. Of course, once in a while, it's not so easy, thanks to the people who think I am Mr. Casanova. Flirt. Player. Manipulator, among other names. My brethren (fellow males) for the most part are jealous of this 'girl friend thief' (as I am most certain I am called behind my back). A few of the ladies are scared of 'this notorious player and heartbreaker'.

Well, I have decided to ignore this ignoramuses. I can't allow people who don't know me at all, who do not understand me rob me of my zest for life. I am a happy man and that is not going to change. My happiness is perpetual. Why won't it be when I make people (especially the ladies) happy? Even the Bible says he that watereth shall be watered. And again, that we should give and it will be given to us. I give joy and so I never lack joy. No be my fault o, my grouchy brethren and scared 'sistren'.

It's not my fault that I can make EVERY lady in a room feel like they are the only one in my direct line of vision at the SAME TIME. You think it's deceitful? You couldn't be more wrong. It's just me recognizing how important, how special the ladies are and letting them know it. After all, we are the only ones in our individual worlds. Even though there are a million people in a room, you are the only one in your own corner of the room. You are the only one on your seat. No 'butt is sharing that exact spot of your seat with your butt. It's not my fault if my brethren are blind to this truth. Instead of being jealous of me, they can ask God to give them a new pair of eyes.

Oga, it's not my fault that your lady spills her guts to me, tells me her life's history, upon meeting me for the first time, while you can't even get her to tell you what she had for breakfast truthfully or when she woke up from sleep despite knowing her for months. Instead of getting angry and jealous of me, why not come to me for some good, much-needed lessons. You need it Bro.

Ehen... All the noise about me being a Casanova, a flatterer, every lady's lover, is just noise. It's not my fault that I treat the ladies right. It's not my fault that I have such a large heart, and enough love to spread around and so every lady can take a piece of it. I am their friend, big brother, small daddy, a strong shoulder to cry on, sometimes errand-boy sef. Why won't I have them swarming around me? Can you, Oga, be all of this effectively to even the one you call your lover, your baby? You see yourself? You can't even nod because your 'self' will just come out of your body, stand in front of you, and slap the hell out of your lying nodding head.

So you see, dear brethren, your jealousy is unreasonable.

I know some people, especially my sistren, are wondering whether with this extra-large heart of mine, the girl I call or I will call Queen of my heart wont get lost amidst the many ladies who share my heart. They are wondering if any girl can ever have a special corner in this extraordinarily large heart of mine. Many have concluded its impossible. That no girl can love an 'every lady's man' like me. It would be too hard.

See ehn, let me tell all you wonderers and nay-sayers: I am like our number 1 citizen. I belong to everybody and to nobody, except of course to my Queen. She'll know. She'll just know.

My darling, you KNOW for sure that of all these my darlings and sweethearts and loves I hug, peck, take out on dates, provide with my strong shoulders to lean on, call, text, buy gifts, etc, you are THE darling, THE sweetheart, and MY very own love.

You know na.

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