I AM NOT A TRUE AFRICAN WOMAN. SHOOT ME .
Sometimes it seems to me that being 'woman' is not enough. The word is so inadequate that something has to be added to it. Married woman. Strong woman. African woman.
Today I am going to dwell on African woman.
If you happen to be born in Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, Botswana, Zimbabwe and other African countries, and to African parents and you are female, you must be an African woman, (and by that I don't mean looking like an African physically) or you are not a woman. Just something that looks like a woman.
When people say, 'true African woman', they mean a lot of things.
For instance, doing house chores forever must be a hobby. 'I am tired' must not be heard from your mouth. African women don't get tired. Infact if after doing all the house chores available in the house, you must create a chore. Thou shalt hate to relax. You must be bouncing up and down like a yo-yo.
I remember the times I spent in some people's houses. After washing the dishes, cooking, or warming the food, sweeping the house, dusting the furniture, fetching water from the tap or well, running some errands, I would be scared to sit down. If I looked around and didn't find any chore to do or create, I would relax with a strange mixture of pleasure and guilt. Guilt because sometimes I would hear after sitting down, 'you no dey work for house' and the accusation would fill me with anger and guilt. Yes anger because, what else was there to do in the house again? I remember one of those hosts giving me an example of a girl who loved work so much that 'she no dey rest. She always looks for something to do'.
Again,as a true African woman, you must hate ease. You hear me? Hate anything that will make your life easier. Forget about driving a car to the market, Wetin do your leg? Washing machine, tufiakwa! Our mothers washed ten bags of clothes with their hands. Make poundo yam for hubby? Whatever happened to the good old mortar and pestle? Pounced yam is sweeter that way. Have a cesarean instead of a vaginally delivery or use an epidural? You are not a real African mother.
And please, true African woman asks no questions, especially from a male. She doesn't get angry, never argues or raises her voice, especially with a male.
And a host of other things. You can enlighten me some more in the comments section.
NEWSFLASH!
When God created 'woman', He created woman. Not something woman. She was real, complete, because of the One Who fashioned her with His hands.
This Creator who loves variety created women with differences, different capacities for different things.
Apart from the fact that she must live to please God, she was not tailored to act a certain way because of the color of her skin or where she comes from.
I am a woman, God's creation who loves rest. I mean loooves rest. I am not a yo-yo. I love ease. I am not a masochist. I do not understand this sordid romance with pain most Africans seem to have.
To be honest, I can't think of ONE chore I love doing. I cook and clean our of necessity. House won't clean itself. If I had the means, I would abstain from doing a lot of them. Oya begin frown face. Ees nor my bizwax. After all, my paid cook and cleaner will not thank you for envying or hating their job,because I would be doing something our government seems highly incapable of doing : creating employment.
I will take an epidural if I can afford to, except doctor advices against it for health reasons. I don't care for the screaming and pain.
And hei! I get angry. I voice out my displeasure to my offender, whether male or female. I treat everyone with respect because they are human, not because of their gender. I ask questions. I have opinions. I argue.
If all these means I am not a true African woman, well, when did being 'african' feed me? When did being 'african' become a virtue, apart from a mere description of my race?
Abeg, my people, I am not a true African woman. Just shoot me.
Today I am going to dwell on African woman.
If you happen to be born in Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, Botswana, Zimbabwe and other African countries, and to African parents and you are female, you must be an African woman, (and by that I don't mean looking like an African physically) or you are not a woman. Just something that looks like a woman.
When people say, 'true African woman', they mean a lot of things.
For instance, doing house chores forever must be a hobby. 'I am tired' must not be heard from your mouth. African women don't get tired. Infact if after doing all the house chores available in the house, you must create a chore. Thou shalt hate to relax. You must be bouncing up and down like a yo-yo.
I remember the times I spent in some people's houses. After washing the dishes, cooking, or warming the food, sweeping the house, dusting the furniture, fetching water from the tap or well, running some errands, I would be scared to sit down. If I looked around and didn't find any chore to do or create, I would relax with a strange mixture of pleasure and guilt. Guilt because sometimes I would hear after sitting down, 'you no dey work for house' and the accusation would fill me with anger and guilt. Yes anger because, what else was there to do in the house again? I remember one of those hosts giving me an example of a girl who loved work so much that 'she no dey rest. She always looks for something to do'.
Again,as a true African woman, you must hate ease. You hear me? Hate anything that will make your life easier. Forget about driving a car to the market, Wetin do your leg? Washing machine, tufiakwa! Our mothers washed ten bags of clothes with their hands. Make poundo yam for hubby? Whatever happened to the good old mortar and pestle? Pounced yam is sweeter that way. Have a cesarean instead of a vaginally delivery or use an epidural? You are not a real African mother.
And please, true African woman asks no questions, especially from a male. She doesn't get angry, never argues or raises her voice, especially with a male.
And a host of other things. You can enlighten me some more in the comments section.
NEWSFLASH!
When God created 'woman', He created woman. Not something woman. She was real, complete, because of the One Who fashioned her with His hands.
This Creator who loves variety created women with differences, different capacities for different things.
Apart from the fact that she must live to please God, she was not tailored to act a certain way because of the color of her skin or where she comes from.
I am a woman, God's creation who loves rest. I mean loooves rest. I am not a yo-yo. I love ease. I am not a masochist. I do not understand this sordid romance with pain most Africans seem to have.
To be honest, I can't think of ONE chore I love doing. I cook and clean our of necessity. House won't clean itself. If I had the means, I would abstain from doing a lot of them. Oya begin frown face. Ees nor my bizwax. After all, my paid cook and cleaner will not thank you for envying or hating their job,because I would be doing something our government seems highly incapable of doing : creating employment.
I will take an epidural if I can afford to, except doctor advices against it for health reasons. I don't care for the screaming and pain.
And hei! I get angry. I voice out my displeasure to my offender, whether male or female. I treat everyone with respect because they are human, not because of their gender. I ask questions. I have opinions. I argue.
If all these means I am not a true African woman, well, when did being 'african' feed me? When did being 'african' become a virtue, apart from a mere description of my race?
Abeg, my people, I am not a true African woman. Just shoot me.
Hmmmmm.....i had never thought "African woman" was a perfect synonyms of the proverbial virtuous woman.... I think I would just go for an African woman any day anytime.. Call it selfish, but am sure u would want the same too if you were in my shoes....
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't call it selfish. You have a right to your preferences sir. And thanks alot for commenting.
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